Walkie-talkie…check. Recovery gear…check. Offroad rigs…check. Keen sense of adventure…check!

And with these words, SUVEC cars, or rigs (as they prefer to be known, in the offroading community) started rolling from Singapore roads into their northern neighbour’s Malaysian roads and into Desaru. Using maps and TULIP (Turning, Upside, Longways, Into, Predestination) directions, all 60 cars make their presence felt in the Pulai Resort of Desaru. Wearing their war-paint in the form of decals, proudly emblazoned on their rigs, it was a sea of colors. The prominent warpaint being the bold orange SUVEC Moosehead mascot. Affectionately called Da Don (Dirty Ol’ Nancy). How apt, considering how dirty these rigs are going to be in just a few minutes

The participating rigs are made up of various makes and models: Vitaras, Jimnys, Pajeros, Rushes & Terios, Rav4s, Foresters, Sportages, Tucsons, Fortuners, CRVs, Landrovers, a Prado and Xtrails. Quite an SUV mish-mash. After a quick headcount, these mish-mash proceeded to the first location, called the Circuit, even before checking into the resort. A quick recovery and demonstration led by the Suzy Boys, a team of well-experienced, swashbuckling men was put thru the paces. Briefing over- Step one of the SUVEC Challenge kicked in. Rigs were already distributed into teams of 6. Named after the Elements, Water team was first up: Their obstacle: a timed-slalom drive and a gully obstacle.

It was to be a series of challenges: the Circuit, the Golf trail, an Olympus camera (a proud sponsor) photo competition, the Dirtiest Car, and the midnight Hella night trail (official sponsor of course being Hella). Timing and points were given, and the best team wins. Combined worth of prizes are worth…get this, a cool 11 plus thousand dollars.

After lunch, which is normally not a big mention (unless your car group only does waxing and detailing affairs, and the only activity seems to be eating and coffee meetups), happens to be a rather big mention. It was a total seafood spread, made up of lobsters, venison, and well....Valhalla would be proud.

Lunch was quickly devoured, and the Golf trail beckons. What looked like a mild-looking, leafy entrance into a dirt track quickly turned into mudpits and at some points, rather technical co-driver spotting (which means the co-driver gets out, assists in the driver via hand signals, standard international offroading hand signals, thank you very much).

There was suddenly a scream in Fire convoy at one particularly muddy stretch. All attention was diverted to the source. Huge sigh of relief- it was a scream of joy. Which came from one of the female members, in her first maiden offroad drive.

Co-ordination between members were almost military precision. Walkie talkies were blaring, and from where this writer is sitting, plenty requests for the convoy to go thru the trail a second time round.

Well, we were on a time schedule here, and Fire convoy needed rather desperately to win. Hopes were lifted when a valiant Rav4 members mud-wrestled the er..well…mud, with his rig. The result, a geyser of mud and a very brown looking rig. Pretty much all of the car was covered in the brown stuff. It looked like a toffee.

Evening time came and after a wash-up of their brown muddy selves, members tropped over for dinner and the awards presentation. Hosted by two very charming gentleman and lady (in a cowboy hat), the lucky draw was held. Now lucky draws are never really very exciting things. Except when the top prize is the Hella Lumina Xenon light worth $900, 6 Olympus cameras,. Xxxx. It was worth a second look, and perhaps a third.

Prizes were exchanged, hands were shaken, stomachs were filled. In the spirit of SUVEC tradition, Dirty Ol’ Nancy (the moosehead trophy version) was handed to the winning convoy. The winning convoy is Wind. For the second time running. Bah.

The dirtiest car, and the particular member was expecting the high end car waxing and polishing package, named ironically Poor Boy’s polish. The unsuspecting good fellow was given a pail and a brush instead. To peals of laughter from the audience.

And last but not least, and just when you thought things were going to get rather winded down- it was the Hella night trail. As though driving your car/rig was not challenging enough during the day, these guys had to do it at night-time too. Not a worry, plenty of Hella lights were flicked on. And lo, let there be light. Twice the fun, as the shadows and beams of lights cast an almost magical feel in the pitch-black night. Eerie stories exchanged about flying white women who perch on trees were quickly hushed.

Next morning, all too soon, it was time to pack. But not before testing out the water-proof cameras in the resort’s pool. Plenty of frolicking and tom-foolery ensues. And the end result were digital snaps that could make grown adults blush.

Goodbyes were exchanged, allegiance were made, friendships forged, last pictures taken of the combined number of cars were taken at the Circuit. And we all head back, now in smaller convoys, with dirtier cars, and with an almost wistful last look at Desaru.

Now the word is going around that the next trip is going to be bigger and badder. And rumours going around that it’s going to be called Destination Unknown. I wonder what it is, as I dream of bevies of beautiful mud-covered women all called Nancy, clutching shackles and towstraps.

Dirty Ol’ Nancies indeed.